Got to find a reason why my money’s all gone…

Self reflection is one of the reasons I decided to reblog-ify myself.  Its been a long road over the past 5 years to where I am today; likely the most trying to me on an emotional and personal level so far. It called into question a lot of who I was or at least who I thought I was.

It turns out that much of my identity was wrapped up in my work. When that ended, so did my self-esteem. I had the boon of external relationships which took care of me physically, but I was a wreck in my mind.  That culminated in some decisions in the middle of 2013 the caused a complete shake down, break down and crisis. The people who stick by you when you’re the most vulnerable, selfish, stupid are the ones to keep.  And I try to cultivate their continued vote for me.

With that said, its time to enumerate and elucidate some of my goals for the future.  In no particular order…

Create a demo for voice acting.

During the dark-between times of being laid off, I got this wild hair that I should be the next Billy West. I cashed out some retirement and went on a depression/inspiration shopping spree, like you do when you’re binge watching Futurama and Babylon-5 on the couch in your underwear.  It’s all sitting in storage in a box. That box must be saved and uploaded.  Things Wired. The sound deadening foam I bought, hung. I don’t care if I ever get a job in the industry.  I want to say I did it.

Fix or replace my guitar.

10584080_10153148086357571_7087634817239794642_nWe all start things for different reasons.  But the reason most males I know start playing is for females. This is true. Yet after you’ve played Every Rose Has Its Thorn a few hundred times, you may start to like it.  I liked it very much thank you. Of course as life gets more entrenching, you lose sight of your bliss. As time went on my poor guitar, bought for my by my parents on my 16th birthday, has seen better days. The frets are shot, the action is crappy.  Fix it or replace it.  Play some songs every day.

Be healthy.

Haha. Yeah, no really! If you’re under 30 and reading this, holy shit it gets hard.  Seriously stop what you’re doing and eat a salad once and awhile. Of course having dealt with this issue for your life adds some baggage to the whole process. When you deal with life crisis by avoidance and consumption…

Write more.

I never considered myself a writer. I read one time that a writer writes. They are compelled to do so.  I am fairly certain I don’t fall into this category. But I feel like I am good at it. I wrote a lot for school, mostly academically, but there was some creative endeavors.  One road trip inspired a children’s book I’d like to start.  I’ve also submitted a sample to some companies for some paid writing gigs.  So who knows?

Be kind and present.

Just be in the room.  Pay attention.  Compliment.

It’s a list.

And it what I got so far.

 

 

 

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. harley bullington says:

    Good shit bill. I’ve known you since we were teenagers sitting on a very disgustingly beautiful couch in the field hanging out like we were soda pop and golden boy in our sanctuary. You went your way I went mine. Boths ways to self destruction a discovery. I’ll always remember that akward funny ass kid who’d let a hoodlum like me pal around with you. I had no definitive place in this world. A chemilian of sorts. Bouncing between the akward ones (lyrics by jeremy bernsdorf) and the gangstas and sadly almost ashamed of my country bunpkin roots. Yet you almost always welcomed me. Thanks for that old friend.

  2. Wm. says:

    Why thank you sir. That experience has shaped my life. I feel truely blessed that I grew up among such a variety of backgrounds and shared so much, even smelly old naps on couches behind Godfather’s Pizza.