I am a White Educated Male and Trump can’t really touch me.

I have a fairly good job in high tech. Trump’s presidency won’t affect me very much at all. However, to those of you that voted these people’s hero into office: A vote for Donald Trump was a vote for white supremacy, and I am not sure I will ever forgive you for putting my nieces, nephews, brothers, friends and anyone, in this worsening situation. This is way beyond a party choice. You have emboldened them and enabled them.

To my wonderful, diverse, family and friends: I have had the blessing of growing up with immediate family members who embraced people of color as their spouses. I have been blessed to see the result of their love in what wonderful nieces and nephews I have. You’re stronger than I am.

In my adult life I was fortunate enough to gain access to people outside of my comfort zone as a white man and they have, with great patience and generosity, allowed me to call them friends. Through personal relationships with the Deaf/HoH, LGBQT, People of Color and my non-Christian friends, I have a taste of your perspective and I am enriched by and a better person, for knowing you.

To you all, I am so, very sorry. I feel as if I have personally failed you, as I could have done more, even if the outcome would have been the same. It is my responsibility to use the means I have to give voice to your hardships and I feel I failed. A great guilt washes over me. For the acquaintances I allowed to speak without confrontation of their rhetoric. For the days I was just too mentally drained to fight, I know that my break from the fight is a privilege that you do not have.

I want you to know that as the days and the weeks and years go by, this outpouring of racial hatred may go back underground. I will not. I am always on your side. I am always on the side of tolerance and inclusion. I am against the forces that try to impede you. I love you and care for you and will work to amplify your voices until I have none of my own left.

More to come.

On Being a “cuck”

Facebook is full sleeper racists and I met one last night.  Oh it started out simple enough.  Facebook friend posts a meme about how if Muslims really hated us, we’d be dead as there are a lot of people who subscribe to that faith.  Not the best meme, but not the worst.  Someone brings up Salmon(sic) Rushdie for some reason as if that would prove a point, ignore that Salman Rushdie is still alive…  but just wait.

Enter “Apparent Islamophobe” – I say apparent because that is all I know about him, he fears Muslims:

Apparent Islamophobe

Immediately we know a couple things about “AI”:  his history is Eurocentrist, he doesn’t actually know much history beyond that which agrees with him and he confuses being a Muslim with wanting a de facto theocracy to kill “us”. This raises a few flags, but I wrote this off as just being exactly what the meme was talking about.  So I suggest maybe he’s being a bit narrow.  I could have been nicer, but fuck it.


So one of 2 things happen here.  Either he considers any other history that isn’t from Europe “non-white” and my bringing it up means I must mean I think they are oppressed or he took a look at my Facebook profile.  Either way, lets take a look at his:


Hmmm 157 IQ – I’d better watch out. Not because of the number, but he’s the kind of person that would put that on their profile.  Scary.  But again, nothing overtly racist and that’s a good thing.  Fear not, his words will betray his true feelings about race, but we’re not past the Islamophobia yet.  He seems to think that I’m pro-Islam, but what he doesn’t know is that I’m kinda anti-religion in general.  That doesn’t stop him from trying to goad me into does it?


There, that should let him know that I’m just not a fan of singling out any particular religion because they all contain the stains of abuse and oppression. Simply having a Muslim majority isn’t sufficient cause for your murder.  I provide some examples.  Would I want to live in a Muslim theocracy?  Unlikely.  The question should be, “would I want to live in any theocracy?”  I barely can stand living in a Secular Christian nation.  We should be good right?


Act 1:  What the fuck is a Europoid?


Whoa!  Where the fuck did this come from? This is straight up fringe white supremacist dogma right here: “Look, some races are just more violent, they can’t help it, just like whites can’t help to be such wonderful things as not tribal and having Christianity and multiculturalism”. 

“Apparent Islamophobe” has graduated to “White Supremacy Apologist”

It sounds so logical right?  But this is grade A white European apologetics.  “We can’t help being on top, its genetics.”  Plus some theory about how religion is an outgrowth of race and did you know Christianity was created by Europeans? Maybe he just thinks that the Hebrews were the whites of the bronze age?  Doubtful.  I am sure if we dug a little deeper there would be some antisemitism and Jewish conspiracy lurking in there, because they go hand in hand.

So Europoid.  This is a more palatable version of Caucasoid. Why is it more palatable?  Because it avoids uncomfortable subjects like the origin of the word and of race itself. 

Asking yourself, why if you’re white you’re referred to as Caucasian, leads to you to Christoph Meiners, which leads you to the realization that the whole “Race” thing isn’t actually based in reality, but on some nice skulls this guy found, in order to sell some books that weren’t based on any real science at all.  That hopefully leads you to a really deep thought about what race really is.  If you need some help, here ya go.

I mean, if you want a slightly more believable explanation for why EUropeans seem to be the dominant brand on the market for the last few centuries, there are much better multidisciplinary works than “fanciful racial religion theory”.

Unfortunately for “White Supremacy Apologist” he chose to go with the other option.

Act 2: What the?

what the

I seriously tried to back out of this.  He likes to edit things to try to piece this all together more… but yeah, the “dynamics of competitive commerce and trade”?  What?

At some point he thought he’d try to flush my into a place where he had prepared a speech about the heroic British/American fight against slavery, but forgot to tell everyone.

A bit non-sequitur, but we soldier on.

Act 3: Wherein I am told I am “a cuck”.


So, I’m familiar with “cuckold” – its history, Shakespeare, etc. even contemporary usage in porn which is a genre.  What I had just barely become aware of is its use in a racial sense.

Poor Louie C.K. – He doesn’t deserve that.

We can see that Google has reflected an increase in that interest, for sure.


So, it could be as simple as he thought I might like Big Black Cock or watching said BBC trounce my lady friend.  But with a 156 IQ, I mean, that couldn’t be it.  This guy is a learned white dude, right?

Lets look at urban dictionary.

However, his implication, is simple that I am not “pro-white”.  I have drank the Kool-aide and am beholden to my brown overlords.

He is afraid that white people are going to be destroyed.  He was just to much of a coward to say it amongst his friend and family, in public, but the Internet doesn’t forget:


Act 4: The thing.

Here’s the thing: If we look at the rest of this angry young man’s life and forgot about the hate, fear and misapplied enthusiasm for his pigmentation, he looks like a charming enough fellow.  He enjoys arts and reminiscing about family.  He could be anyone and unfortunately, he is like many people. Outwardly tolerant, friendly and successful.  But that take s a turn as soon as brown people are involved.  Islam was never the sole issue for him.  A little digging and asking questions uncovered the real ugly ideology underneath: white people are being bred out by big black cocks I guess and it appears I am a fan.


Many things bother me with this exchange beyond “White Supremacy Apologist”.  First and foremost is the lack of anyone saying anything contrary to this guy, beyond me.  One fellow quoted Jiddu Krishnamurti, which is kind of like stopping a train by asking it nicely.  No direct confrontation of this guys hate spunk.

My girlfriend and apparent future “cuckette” notices when I have these confrontations. I withdraw, I sigh a lot and I don’t pay attention to “The Martian” that is playing on the TV.  This takes a toll mentally and emotionally and I often want to say nothing, too.  What can I do to make a difference?

What I can do is shine a light on it.  Which is why I moved it from a private friend’s post to this blog.  I considered dropping his name, but that’s not an action I would ever condone unless I had direct evidence that is would make a difference.

What does make a difference is understanding we have an audience.  We have everyone on our friends list, friends of friends perhaps, that need to see other people standing up against hate and ignorance.  Even when its often rough, poorly written or ignored, which happens often when I do it.

Human Domestication

I have started this sentence 43 times.  The problem is I have never written for writing’s sake.  Some say this means I am not a writer, but you know what?

Tell me if you do, please?

I think to truly embrace this medium I need to adopt the process of catching ideas for use later. Right now its kind of catch and release.

If pushed to speak about ideas for which I have passion, I am at no loss for words, yet when I sit here and consider whipping myself into a froth just so I can write about it seems disingenuous from me. Ranting is easy, a soapbox is easy. When I was taken by such things preaching was easy and the adrenaline of forming and transferring an idea is exhilarating.  I understand public speaking from this angle. Its like being a bit of the rock star, the center, the catalyst.

I can speak, at length, with plenty of self righteous but unrecognized authority on a variety of topics.  Such is the curse of being my father’s son. A role I find myself filling mentally and physically. So when I muster up the gumption to write about my emotional, monetary or physical state, its always flavored with a little bit of parental contaminant. When I speak to my partner, is it with the authoritarian overbearing spirit of my father? Did I hear my mother in that self effacing comment?

I always considered that at a certain point, we should put away the trappings of our childhood psycho-incubator.  I believed that at some point, which I thought I grabbed in my late 20s, I could and should, finally, forgive my parents for whatever damage they did, though well intentioned. Don’t get me wrong, I had fairly good parents to some. But we don’t get through childhood unharmed.

So as I grew up further and my life drifted away from their circle, I could no longer place blame squarely on them, but I had to recognize that while I had transferred blame away from them, I had never transferred it to the person who was now responsible, myself. Oh sure, its easy to point out the flaws of my parents. I mean I have all the info I need from my Psych 101 class right? Control freak. General Anxiety/Depression. Authoritarian. Paranoia. But these simple labels don’t tell the whole story nor should they. People are complex and yet simple. Walking contradictions.

There is an interesting train of thought that we don’t actually make our own decisions. We already know that Confirmation Bias is real, (the drive to seek information that agrees with us), but we can extrapolate further that we merely choose from ideas or meals or dogma that are presented to us with the illusion of choice. Free will, predestination. Consumer products, the car salesperson; these things don’t tell the real story. When I am given the menu, I don’t order what isn’t there.  So why should the menu of life and how we treat people or allow people to treat us be any different?

Who presents me the menu of choices when I interact with friends? Or a homeless person? Or a person of color? When I look for a job, how do I choose which I apply to, which I wish I could apply to, and which I scoff at as below me? Can I really say I am autonomous and that I choose to do from the full cauldron of humanity? The answer for me right now must be, “no”.

This all leads to being mindful and aware of how reactionary I behave as I go about the vast majority of my life because my menu is influenced by how I was raised, my biology and how society treats me.  But I think this exercise also serves to inform how I “choose” to perceive those around me.  When I see the homeless, the protester, the rebel flag waver. Who gave me the menu?

Remember when we had blogs? That was weird.

About This Site

This site represents attempt #239 to write about things in public. Writing, thoughts and editorial regarding a wide variety of topic and a way to get to know me. What I say I like and what I seem to like may be different things.  Having a wide variety of interests, this site will also (hopefully) work as a concentrator for my activities and further my construction to (also hopefully), a useful human.

About This Author

Born in Southern California, I’ve lived the majority of my life in Washington State. I enjoy the occasional game, programs on the television, books and adult beverage.  I like to cook for other people. I have wanted to be a lot of things when I grow up.  A non-exhaustive list of toiling: Retail Clerk, Fast Food Slave, cement distribution… guy? Technical Support Monkey, Test Engineer, Student, musician.  I currently support firewalls for a small to medium-ish security appliance manufacturer.